Thursday, March 19, 2009

A few Awkward Conversation Snippets

Him: Do you like kids?
Me: I love kids.
Him: Do you like playing with kids? (This question was asked as I was answering the first one).
Me: Yes. I have two nephews and a niece, and I love to play with them.
Him: That's good.
Me: Yeah, where I'm from people tend to have a lot of kids.
Him: Really?
Me: Yeah.
Him: How many do you want?
Me: It depends. Two, probably. Maybe up to five depending on my husband and when I get married.
Him: Wow. That's a lot.
Me: Yeah... there are only three in my family. But my neighbor has 12 kids. (Take that).

About two hours later...

Him: If I came to Utah and we had kids, we would only have two.
Me: (thinking: What the H***? Do not pass Go, do NOT collect $200. We would have to do a lot more than eat Lebanese food to have children.)(and, P.S., have you ever even HEARD the word compromise? What about bossy? Chauvinistic?)
Me: Ummm... that's not gonna happen. (Seriously? Are we married already in your mind? Is this what Mormon guys feel like when they go out on dates? I'm starting to have sympathy pains.)

Him: Are there a lot of Indians where you're from?
Me: (thinking: Classic. Yep, and my father is a cowboy. As a matter of fact, we're ranchers. We have a vast plot of land where we herd cattle.)
Me: You mean, the Indians that were the original people in America? Or people from the country India? (I must give him the benefit of the doubt, after all.)
Him: American Indians.
Me: There are some, but I haven't seen a lot of them in my city specifically. I do know a few, though.
Him: I would love to talk to some of them. You know, they are very in tune with nature. They have a lot of respect for nature. I watched a lot of westerns when I was little.
Me: That's great. Yeah, I think Native Americans do have a lot of respect for nature and the Earth, which is wonderful.
Him: Yeah, it's really important to respect the earth and natural resources. To not be wasteful.
A few minutes later:
Him: Do you think I could rent a horse if I came to Utah? Then I could ride it in the mountains.
Me: (laughing on the inside). Oooh, you know what? I don't know that you could. Actually, come to think of it, I believe there are places where you can rent a horse to take up into the mountains.
Him: I would love that.
Me: Uh-huh. (What on earth do you think Utah is like?)
Me: (casually, as part of our normal conversation while he walked me home) Yeah, I'm not really looking for any kind of relationship while I'm here. I hate talking on the phone, so keeping up any kind of long-distance relationship would be a complete waste.
Him: Yes, I completely understand. I remember you told me you don't like to talk on the phone.
Five minutes later, by my elevator
Him: Can I come up?
Me: No.
Him: Ummm... okay.
(So, when you said, "Yes, I completely understand." what you actually meant was, "I hear the words you're saying, and I know what they mean," not "Yes, I completely understand how you feel and I will respect that.")
That's it for now, folks. I don't know whether or not I'll be surprised to hear from him on Monday.


Erin said...

Oh. My. Yes, definitely awkward. The things I am thinking of writing are not very kind, so I just think I will leave it at that!

Pease Family said...

that would have been a long night i can imagine. hopefully he'll get better at taking hints.

TheQueen@TerrorsInTiaras said...

Um, psycho. And I feel bad enough to confess that I had to laugh at these last few posts. Sorry. But, really, are people that out of touch? Crazy.

Emmaline said...

Hahahaha. You get awkward situations, and apparently I make them. These are way too funny! Thanks for telling me of your harrowing and yet so humorous experiences.