Thursday, March 19, 2009

A few Awkward Conversation Snippets

Him: Do you like kids?
Me: I love kids.
Him: Do you like playing with kids? (This question was asked as I was answering the first one).
Me: Yes. I have two nephews and a niece, and I love to play with them.
Him: That's good.
Me: Yeah, where I'm from people tend to have a lot of kids.
Him: Really?
Me: Yeah.
Him: How many do you want?
Me: It depends. Two, probably. Maybe up to five depending on my husband and when I get married.
Him: Wow. That's a lot.
Me: Yeah... there are only three in my family. But my neighbor has 12 kids. (Take that).

About two hours later...

Him: If I came to Utah and we had kids, we would only have two.
Me: (thinking: What the H***? Do not pass Go, do NOT collect $200. We would have to do a lot more than eat Lebanese food to have children.)(and, P.S., have you ever even HEARD the word compromise? What about bossy? Chauvinistic?)
Me: Ummm... that's not gonna happen. (Seriously? Are we married already in your mind? Is this what Mormon guys feel like when they go out on dates? I'm starting to have sympathy pains.)

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Him: Are there a lot of Indians where you're from?
Me: (thinking: Classic. Yep, and my father is a cowboy. As a matter of fact, we're ranchers. We have a vast plot of land where we herd cattle.)
Me: You mean, the Indians that were the original people in America? Or people from the country India? (I must give him the benefit of the doubt, after all.)
Him: American Indians.
Me: There are some, but I haven't seen a lot of them in my city specifically. I do know a few, though.
Him: I would love to talk to some of them. You know, they are very in tune with nature. They have a lot of respect for nature. I watched a lot of westerns when I was little.
Me: That's great. Yeah, I think Native Americans do have a lot of respect for nature and the Earth, which is wonderful.
Him: Yeah, it's really important to respect the earth and natural resources. To not be wasteful.
A few minutes later:
Him: Do you think I could rent a horse if I came to Utah? Then I could ride it in the mountains.
Me: (laughing on the inside). Oooh, you know what? I don't know that you could. Actually, come to think of it, I believe there are places where you can rent a horse to take up into the mountains.
Him: I would love that.
Me: Uh-huh. (What on earth do you think Utah is like?)
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Me: (casually, as part of our normal conversation while he walked me home) Yeah, I'm not really looking for any kind of relationship while I'm here. I hate talking on the phone, so keeping up any kind of long-distance relationship would be a complete waste.
Him: Yes, I completely understand. I remember you told me you don't like to talk on the phone.
Five minutes later, by my elevator
Him: Can I come up?
Me: No.
Him: Ummm... okay.
(So, when you said, "Yes, I completely understand." what you actually meant was, "I hear the words you're saying, and I know what they mean," not "Yes, I completely understand how you feel and I will respect that.")
--------------------------------------------------------------------
That's it for now, folks. I don't know whether or not I'll be surprised to hear from him on Monday.

4 comments:

Erin said...

Oh. My. Yes, definitely awkward. The things I am thinking of writing are not very kind, so I just think I will leave it at that!

Pease Family said...

that would have been a long night i can imagine. hopefully he'll get better at taking hints.

TheQueen@TerrorsInTiaras said...

Um, psycho. And I feel bad enough to confess that I had to laugh at these last few posts. Sorry. But, really, are people that out of touch? Crazy.

Emmaline said...

Hahahaha. You get awkward situations, and apparently I make them. These are way too funny! Thanks for telling me of your harrowing and yet so humorous experiences.