L'embarras du choix

At a ward activity with my church in Paris, there was a potluck with some of the most delicious-looking foods I've ever seen.

As I stood before the buffet-style setup trying to decide where to start, a member of the bishopric came up beside me with the same "Where do I start?" look of hesitation on his face.

"Ahh..." he says, "L'embarras du choix." Roughly translated, that conveys the idea of "overwhelmed by my options" or "spoilt for choice."

And that's the perfect description of my life right now. Really, where do I start?

I've been thinking a lot about graduate school, but for the life of me I can't settle on one program over another. It's kind of distressing, mostly because the deadlines are all coming up soon, and I'll need to get cracking on the GRE for some of the applications.

I feel pulled in several different directions. These are the programs I'm thinking of applying to:

-French studies
-French Teaching
-Language Acquisition
-TESOL
-MPA
-Literacy Education

If I did either of the last two, I would want to do both and end up working for a non-profit with a focus on literacy education (either K-12 or adult ed). But I also feel like I should work in that field for at least a year or two to determine whether that's something I would want to do as a full-time career.

I think with French Studies or French Teaching it's almost a no-brainer that I at least apply, but the catch with that is I don't think I would want to teach secondary, so I would have to also do a doctorate. Yowza. I'm 28. You do the math.

They're all sort of related, having to do with literacy, teaching, and language... but they're all different enough that they don't really overlap. Except maybe Language Acquisition and TESOL. Those probably have some significant overlap in the theories I would study.

So, I'm not gonna lie... I think I would love them all. I'm not really making salary a part of the decision, because choosing a career based on how much I would make is a recipe for disaster (based on previous experience).

That's all. Just needed to get it off my chest.

What's in a Name? (or, Pardon my Dust)

Some of you have commented on the recent re-christening of the blog and the new header photo(s).

I decided to rename the blog while I was in Paris, and I just like the sound of Paris Vicarious. I also like the Eiffel Tower picture a lot better than the one I posted up a couple of days ago of the Place de la Condorde. I'm prettty sure those are the only changes I'll be making, though.


The Silly English Kaniggit (the old blog name and still part of the url) comes from a nickname I've been given by more than one person in my life (including my entire district at the MTC). I think Ames has friends that call her Ka-Niggit, too. So when I first started the blog, that's the only thing I could think to call it (and, ironically, it is an insult from a French soldier to English knights in this movie).

Not quite sure what I'll do when I leave France. Maybe I'll change the name to something entirely different. Time will tell.

Believe me, if I wanted a salad...

A couple of quick points before I get to the story:

I feel very awkward when someone repeatedly tells me I am beautiful. (And I mean VERY awkward. Tell me once each time you see me and we're good. Then drop it.) Actually, it's the same with any compliment. If you must tell me more than once, keep it to once each time we see each other. Not once every five minutes.

I also feel awkward when someone (ahem. a boy I'm on a date with, maybe) invites me to order a salad, and then invites me to exercise with him the following Sunday afternoon.

Put two and two together, and this is what I hear, in all of my self-conscious splendor:

"You're so beautiful. Really. Very beautiful. I don't understand why you don't already have a boyfriend. A beautiful woman like you. But really... you could go without all those carbs. Eat this lettuce instead. And a good hour-long run wouldn't hurt, either. I promise it will be fun. While we're on the subject of fun, can I come up to your apartment?"

Hmmm, let me think about that for a second. Um, no. You can't come up to my apartment. Ever.

But it was a good try. Kind of. Next time try to go without all of the hints at dieting. Otherwise I'll develop a serious complex and then we won't be friends anymore. Because frankly, I might not be a supermodel, but I respect myself enough to not put up with crap like this, should you decide to continue in this fashion. The outcome, at this point, entirely depends on you.

Man, I wish I could talk to people like this in person!!

A couple of years ago,

I had a conversation with a friend of mine that had a really big impact on me. I honestly don't remember what it was about. But the one thing I remember about the conversation was that he didn't ever (seriously, not even for two seconds together) acknowledge or consider my opinion. And we were talking about ME, so I was kind of surprised and annoyed by that.

I remember enough of the conversation to tell you that I was explaining my feelings about something--and not politics, or business, or anything globally important, but just feelings about things in my life that were personally affecting me, and my opinion about how to react.

I can still recall exactly how frustrating this conversation was to me, because I expressed how I felt, and then he responded in a way that completely ignored everything I had said. I felt like he hadn't even listed to what I just finished telling him. So I tried again, really trying to emphasize what I thought were the important feelings I was having and the decisions I was making.

And once again, he completely ignored what I said and just restated his opinion of what he thought I should do or how I should react. But in a really "oh, aren't you a little slow on the uptake today?" kind of way, like I was apparently having a really hard time wrapping my mind around it.

I felt like I was talking to a wall of chauvinistic superiority.

I absolutely think the world of this friend of mine, but I could never date or marry someone who treats me that way, even inadvertently. (Especially then, because then he wouldn't even know he was doing it).

I feel like I should somehow come with a disclaimer that says something to this effect:
If you can't give me enough respect to acknowledge the things I say, even if my opinion or my approach is different from yours (or if you think you 'wear the pants' in the relationship and therefore have a more weighty opinion or more of a say about MY LIFE), then I can't respect you enough to give you my time at all. You don't have to agree with me. I don't always have to be right. Just don't treat me like I'm stupid becuase I have an opinion of my own that doesn't happen to align perfectly with yours.

Does that make me sound bitter and cynical? Sometimes I think I am bitter and cynical, but then I remember that I deserve to be with someone that I can have a mutually respectful, cooperative, loving relationship with where we are both willing to listen and compromise.

That's not too much to ask, is it?



And yes, if you read the other post I just did, they are absolutely related.

Super-duper-Superior

That is officially my rank along the language-capacity spectrum in the Sorbonne's eyes.

Well, not the super-duper part, but the Superior part!! Hooray! (Superior, by the way, is the highest ranking. So, it goes without saying that I felt good about that. But I'm going to say it anyway because I'm so Ego-centric!)

I went to take the first part of my language proficiency test today. It was easy. Of course I made mistakes, but they had more to do with remembering to match my nouns with the proper endings to their adjectives (masculine and feminine) than anything. Oh, and a couple of vocabulary problems on the more advanced portion of the test. But I was the first one done, if that means anything (which it doesn't). Oh, and I didn't mess up on purpose. I did my best, because I figure if I'm going to pay 1400 Euro, I might as well try hard.

Once I was done with the test I met with one of the teachers so she could correct the test and do a preliminary oral proficiency test. We chatted for a few minutes about where I was from and if I had ever been to France (when/where/why). After a couple of minutes she said, "I can see without any problem that you are the Superior level both gramatically and phonetically." I didn't expect her to come to that conclusion so quickly (or at all, frankly. I thought I would be Advanced, not Superior), so it took me by surprise when she thanked me and wished me a good day.

Well, thank you very much.

Looks like that BA degree was in fact good for something.

Self-Portrait #1

In other--more shallow and less interesting--news, I wore my purple cloche hat today and I took this little self portrait to share with you all. My hair is being difficult what with all the humidity and crazy gusts of wind that randomly crop up around the city, so hats are quite helpful in taming the savage-beastliness. Yeah, it's a little blurry, but you get the general idea...

I really hope I don't look like one of the ladies in those purple hat clubs. If so, PLEASE tell me, and I'll donate the hat to charity.

A Note From France

As I've been going through all the stuff I moved from the townhouse back to my parents', I found a notecard I had sent to Jessica and Happy while I was in Europe with my family last May (2007).



Isn't it cute? I loved the pop-up Eiffel Tower.

Here is what I wrote:

Hey, ladies!! We're off to Berlin in the morning, so I just thought I would drop you a line from Paris before we left. London was great, Paris was FAB-U-LOUS, and I absolutely need to move here. We'll see what Germany and Italy have in store for us next! Thanks for holding down the fort while I'm gone! See you soon. Love, Sar.

Over the past few days I've been having some minor freak-out moments. When I think too hard about moving to a city with 11 million people, by myself, without knowing anyone, I kind of get nauseated. But then I see things like this notecard, and I realize how comfortable I am there, how much I flat out love it, and how well I communicated with everyone in Paris when I was there with my family (I definitely took on the role of official spokesperson).


I'll have two full weeks to adjust to Paris life before school even starts, so I'll be able to figure out where the grocery store is, how long it takes to walk to the Metro, how long the train ride is, and how long it takes to walk to school. I'll have time to go see some exhibits, and maybe even go on my first out-of-country adventure. I'll stop in to go to Institute on my first day, call the missionaries to figure out which ward I'm in, and get myself unpacked and my shelf in the kitchen cupboard and fridge stocked so I don't just eat panini and crepes for a week straight (my immediate family knows that this is a serious possibility). The second day I'm in town is when I go to school to have my language skills tested. Once that is done they will determine which class "level" I belong in and I'll know more about what my class schedule will be like. That's the 22nd... and classes don't start until Feb. 10th. So, really there's no good reason for me to freak out.


I'll also be taking a LOT of pictures. So prepare yourselves.

Just A Month...

until I fly away on a jet plane.

I started packing yesterday. Is that too soon?

I am a classic over-packer. But I'm looking forward to packing for a 5 month adventure, because I'm pretty sure that means it will be impossible to overpack. Suh-weet!!

I have two checked bags, a carry-on, and a laptop bag. I don't actually know how I'm going to get all of my luggage from the airport to my apartment in Paris, but I'm pretty sure I'll be shelling out a few Euros so I don't have to do it by myself.

And I'm not going to lie... I'm probably going to ship my pillow and my earring organizer over. Mock me if you must, but a good night's sleep and NOT sifting through hundreds of tangled earrings are totally worth the extra effort (and cost).

"There is No Charge for Awesomeness... or Attractiveness"

How great is this line?*

Wouldn't you love to be able to say this to someone? Be on the lookout for good times to say this. I will be looking, too. This sounds like something I would say, anyways, in one of my "I'm pretending to think more highly of myself than I actually do" moments.

Sometimes I think that people who don't know me very well think I'm a total narcissist. And I can't say that I blame them. I frequently speak very highly of myself, mostly as a tongue-in-cheek joke. But most people who don't know me well don't quite get it... so then I just look like I'm an egomaniac.

Oh, well.

Still... don't you think everyone should think of themselves as awesome? I think they should.**

Take the poll on my sidebar and tell me if you think you're awesome!! This could be a life-changing self-affirmation moment. But only if you let it be. :)

*From Kung Fu Panda
**But I think their opinion of themselves should be tempered by the realization that everyone else is awesome and deserves to be heard, respected, and supported, too. I think there are people who have unreasonably elevated opinions of themselves, and as a result, the way they treat other people is just atrocious.

I Also Think I Don't Have a House

Yesterday I signed a purchase contract to sell my house. Hooray!

Now it just has to appraise for enough and the inspector needs to not surprise me with termites or mold or something like that.

The plan is to close on the 10th. Wow, that's so soon! Two weeks from tomorrow!

Jessica and I are moving the 6th of December (she to a new house, me to my parents').


Goodbye, tiny townhouse.

Hello, even tinier apartment in Paris.
I'm not going to lie... it's a tradeoff I would make 10 times out of 10.

I think I Have an Apartment

So, my friend's sister in Paris called today to report on her visit to one of the two apartments I've been deciding between.

At this point, I don't really think it's even a contest. Unless something miraculous happens with the second apartment, I will probably take this one.



It is:
-apparently good sized, and my room is quite large for Paris
-very secure--there is an outer gate and a digital code I have to enter to get into the building
-15 minutes by foot to the Arc de Triomphe
-15 minutes by foot to Montmartre
-5 stops by RER away from the Eiffel Tower
-one Metro transfer away from school, Notre Dame, and the Louvre
-in a very nice neighborhood
-with a 45-year old lady who is rarely there on the weekends
-550 Euros a month (right now about $720) with no extra charges (includes internet, unlimited international phone calls, washing machine, use of the kitchen, etc.)







Not bad, eh?


There is also a farmer's market twice a week on a nearby street.

Now, if only the consulate would answer my emails so I could get my visa...

A Personality Pie Chart

I think this Personality Pie Chart from Marc at Take Out Photo is a brilliant idea. I think this would be a really fun series to do with several individuals displayed next to each other (Teachers of the Week, a display at a family reunion, celebrities, random people who are being judged solely on their appearance...).

It would also be cool used in some kind of advertising (sort of a spin on the "Priceless" MasterCard commercials). Whaddaya think?




Plus I just love the look on this guy's face.


If you had to reduce your personality to five of the most representative traits, what would they be?

Friday Faves - Earrings

Several of you, though I'm guessing not all of you, know that I love earrings. REALLY love them.
You might call it an obsession, a fetish, or an accessory imbalance. But, call it what you will, I love earrings, and I thought I would share mine with you today.

I have amassed many pairs of earrings in my life. In total I think I've got between 85-90 pair of earrings. I counted a while ago but I don't remember the exact number. Almost all of the earrings I wore growing up are gone because they were mostly post earrings, and now I tend to wear drop earrings 99% of the time. I have zero tolerance for being stabbed in the neck by an earring post. Hooks are so much more gentle on the skin behind my ears.

Keeping track of all my earrings (specifically, rummaging through them all to find the ones I wanted to wear) had become a challenge in the last couple of years, so I finally devised a way to keep them all in one place. This was the resulting crafty project.

Ingredients: One unfinished glass-free frame from Robert's, several lengths of ribbon, staple gun, staples, white paint, clearcoat. Oh, and 3M hooks for the necklaces and rings at the bottom. LOVE those hooks.

There are some changes I would make to this having now gone through the process once. I would use eyelet screws on the inside of the frame where the glass would normally sit and I would either use thinner ribbon or wire. I kind of like the way the ribbons wrapped aroung the edges of the frame, but the earrings with the smaller hooks tend to slip off the ribbon because it is too wide and flexible.

Regardless of those little issues, I have loved having this earring holder. It keeps them all in front of me, and it turns my earrings into a sort of haphazard artwork.

A couple of years ago I decided that instead of spending money on random souvenirs on trips I take (which inevitably end up thrown away, lost, broken, or being picked up by me as I scratch my head and wonder where I got it), that I would purchase a pair of earrings for each vacation I go on (or multiple pairs, if I am visiting several locations in one trip).

It started in 2005 with a Thanksgiving trip to New York City and has continued up through mytrip to Alaska this summer.

I'm not going to lie--picking my favorite earrings was a challenge, because I wear so many of them frequently and love them for different reasons. But here are some of my favorites and where they came from.

These turquoise hoops are a recent purchase, custom made by her. (I love Etsy. Seriously.) They are to replace a pair of earrings I bought at the Adopt-A-Native-Elder Program rug auction and jewelry sale in 2005. I lost ONE of them just a few weeks later and have been looking for a replacement pair ever since.

This pair of red coral spheres I purchased at an outdoor market in Berlin right outside of the Kaiser Wilhelm Memorial Church.

I wear these earrings at least once a week. They were a Valentine's Day gift from a coworker who knows how much I love earrings. We were on a business trip together and she gave me these and a great card with a quote from Van Gogh about painting. (She obviously knows me really well and is an extremely thoughtful person.) Thanks, Gena!!

These earrings were also a recent purchase, because I didn't feel like I had any silver earrings that were really basic but still had some substance to them as far as their size. These are maybe one inch across, so not huge skanky hoops, but they don't disappear once I've got them on, either. From Target (as are most of my earrings).

This pair was a Christmas gift last year from my best friend Happy. I wasn't sure how I felt about them at first, because up to that point I almost never wore anything but silver and cool colors. Thanks Hap! (For the earrings and helping me branch out).

This pair is also from the Hapster. She got them from a woman who had a booth at the Spanish Fork Fiesta Days fair. Apparently this woman never makes the same pair of earrings twice. I love these earrings, and I get tons of compliments every time I wear them (which is pretty often because they're really versatile).

And to wrap it up (I'm sorry... who knew that anyone could write this much about earrings??), these earrings are coming my way soon. Again, these are replacing a pair of earrings (my favorite pair EVER, hands down--I wore them every day of my mission and then some) because I lost one while napping on my parents' couch. It disappeared into the depths of the cushions or elsewhere, never to be found again.

They are also from Etsy (this shop), and I am sooo excited to have found some that are so similar to the one I lost (I still have its partner in my car so I could periodically stop by Argento and ask if they were making them again).

Okay, I'm done. If you read this whole thing, you are a trooper. :)

A Mosaic of...Me (because I'm just THAT self-centered)

I saw this on The Scoop and thought it was a cool way to share things about myself and associate them with pictures. Flickr is fun! I love the mosaic tool... so don't be surprised if you see more popping up on the blog.

1) Sarah 2) Real Italian Pizza. 3) Boring Hallway 4) The red one 5) David Boreanaz 6) Apfelschorle 02 7) Door - Morocco 2002 8) This picture didn't work... don't quite know why 9) Painter's corner 10) incurable laughter 11) The Listener 12) blonde/brunette


1. What is your first name? (Sarah)
2. What is your favorite food? (real Italian pizza)
3. What high school did you attend? (Orem High School)
4. What is your favorite color? (red)
5. Who is your celebrity crush? (David Boreanaz)
6. Favorite drink? (Apfelschorle) Update - apple juice mixed with sparkling water--this is NOT beer, people. :)
7. Dream vacation? (Morocco)
8. Favorite dessert? (crème brulée)
9. What do you want to be when you grow up? (a painter)
10. What do you love most in life? (laughter)
11. One word to describe you? (listener)
12. Your Flickr name? (skbrunette)

Look here for instructions on how to do it.

Tagged by Miss Yessica

Got Tagged by Jessica (at work, not my roomie/cousin).

1. Do you like blue cheese? Yes, I do.
2. Do you own a gun? Heck no.
3. Wax or Shave your body parts? Both.
4. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Depends on the doc.
5. Real or fake nails? Real.
6. Favorite Christmas song? O, Come All Ye Faithful and O Holy Night
7. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? The milk from my cereal.
8. Can you do pushups? Yes, but not very many.
9. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? Seriously?? I have no idea how to choose... I have almost 100 pairs of earrings!! It's probably a toss-up between the earrings Happy bought me in July and the red coral earrings I bought in Berlin last May. But I love my glass cocktail ring from Florence, too.
10. Favorite hobby? Painting, photography.
11. Do you have A.D.D.? Sometimes I feel like I really, really do.
12. What's one trait that you hate about yourself? I'm a perfectionist/procrastinator. I'm pretty sure this runs in the family.
13. Middle Name? None.
14. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? I wonder how much of the extended family are perfectionist/procrastinators... Why didn't my parents give me a middle name (not that I really want one, just wondering their reasons, if any)... I need a new pair of black pants.
15. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Dr. Pepper (as of a few days ago), water (as of a few weeks ago), and juice mixed with sparkling water (since last summer in Germany).
16. Current worry right now? Selling my house.
17. Current hate right now? Selling my house.
18. Favorite place to be? In nature by myself or with someone who doesn't feel the need to talk, because they recognize the difference between quiet meditation and awkward silence.
19. How did you bring in the New Year? I don't remember... how sad. If I was with you, please don't be offended.
20. Like to go? To my new water aerobics class.
21. Hate to go? To the gas station. So depressing.
22. Do you own slippers? No. I threw my only pair away a couple of weeks ago.
23. What color shirt are you wearing? Red.
24. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? I haven't ever, but it would probably be nice.
25. Can you whistle? Sure can.
26. Favorite color? Red or blue.
27. Would you be a pirate? Only if I got to have super short hair, really big earrings, and maintain excellent oral hygeine.
28. What songs do you sing in the shower? I usually don't sing or listen to music while I'm in the shower. It's a very relaxing time for me.
29. Favorite girl's name? I like less common but not crazy-out-there names for girls and boys. And names that can be easily shortened so they don't have really awkward nicknames.
30. Favorite boy's name? see #29
31. What's in your pocket right now? I'm wearing a skirt, so no pockets.
32. Last thing that made you laugh? An e-mail from my coworker with recordings of her former coworkers' out-of-office voice mail messages. Should I be worried???
33. Best bed sheets as a kid? I don't know... they were sheets.
34. Worst injury you've ever had? I've been pretty lucky and haven't had too much. I sprained the bones in the top of my foot during a soccer game once and had to be on crutches for a couple of weeks. That's the worst I can think of.
35. Do you love where you live? Hmmm. Yes, but not enough to stay there.
36. How many TV's do you have in your house? One.
37. Who is your loudest friend? Probably my friend Gena. She has the best laugh, and her voice can carry really far.
38. How many pets do you have? None. Thank heavens.
39. Does someone have a crush on you? Of course! Who wouldn't? :)
40. What is your favorite book? Anthem by Ayn Rand
41. What is your favorite lolly? I don't really eat suckers...
42. Favorite Sports Team? BYU Cougars, of course!!
43. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Sleeping... ahhhhhh...
44. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? "You know, self, you should really keep your blackout curtains open. The slow brightening of the morning sky when you do that helps you to be more alert when your alarm goes off." - that's the gist of it.
45. Worst habit? Watching too much t.v.
46. Do you play an instrument? Nope. Wish I did, though. I would love to play the piano, viola or cello, and the guitar.
47. How long does it take you to get to work? Three to five minutes depending on the lights.
48. Plans for the weekend? Singles activity (barn dance, ew), Organ Loft, Bridal Veil Film Fest, General RS Meeting
49. If you could eat anything in the world right this second, what would it be? A huge plate of fresh mango, raspberries, and nectarines.

Friday Faves - Museums

I'm starting an ongoing series of randomness on my blog. Each Friday I am going to post about my favorite things in a particular category. The categories are totally random. If you want to know about my favorite _________ (fill in whatever your heart desires), let me know and I'll put it on my list of 'Faves' to post about. I would also love to see comments below with your favorites on that day's topic.

The inaugural Friday Faves is all about my favorite museums. Definitely a difficult decision, but here are those that are, in my opinion, the crème de la crème.

1. The Musée d'Orsay in Paris. LOVE it. Impressionism, photography, furniture, sculpture... it's just amazing. It's converted from an old train station, so the building itself it really beautiful as well. Bonus: it's not so huge that you can't ever get through it. It's completely doable.

2. The Bode Museum in Berlin. I just remember it being so full of light, and the way they displayed their pieces was just breathtaking--the different works of art seemed to interact with each other in a way that doesn't happen in other museums. (This is actually one of the things they are known for, and was apparently quite the revolutionary way of displaying art when they did it.)

3. The Borghese Gallery and Museum in Rome. They had really beautiful works displayed and the grounds were really nice. However, there is a 2-hour time limit (not enough), and it isn't extremely large as far as buildings go, so it did feel a bit crowded when people stopped for too long to look at something (and touch it!!! I about slapped these teenagers that were looking at a statue at the same time as my family, and they just reached out and rubbed it like it was a good luck charm. Seriously, people. Have some respect--if not for the art itself, then for the fact that it's someone else's property.).

Runners-up:

The Pergamon in Berlin. I LOVE the Ishtar gate. What incredible color.

The Louvre in Paris. Enormous and exhausting, yes... but truly worth it (time and again). Maybe if I ever move there I'll get to see the entire thing once and for all.

The Egyptian Museum of Berlin. GREAT pieces here. I was just too exhausted to linger...

Victoria and Albert Museum in London. Wish we would have had more time there.

National Gallery in London. Probably rivals the Borghese for the number three spot, to be honest.